QuoteForYou » Funny Quotes

Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself – like, for instance, he can’t find any clean socks. -Jean Kerr

admin — Wed, 02 May 2012 00:00:00 +0000

Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself – like, for instance, he can’t find any clean socks. -Jean Kerr

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her. -Rodney Dangerfield

admin — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 00:00:00 +0000

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her. -Rodney Dangerfield

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. -Groucho Marx

admin — Sat, 03 Dec 2011 00:00:00 +0000

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. -Groucho Marx

If my films make one more person miserable, I’ll feel I have done my job. -Woody Allen

admin — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 00:00:00 +0000

If my films make one more person miserable, I’ll feel I have done my job. -Woody Allen

I don’t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members. -Groucho Marx

admin — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 00:00:00 +0000

I don’t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members. -Groucho Marx

If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question? -Lily Tomlin

admin — Sun, 12 Feb 2012 00:00:00 +0000

If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question? -Lily Tomlin

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me. -Warren Buffett

admin — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 00:00:00 +0000

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me. -Warren Buffett

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. -George Burns

admin — Sun, 29 Apr 2012 00:00:00 +0000

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. -George Burns

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. -Erma Bombeck

admin — Mon, 12 Mar 2012 00:00:00 +0000

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. -Erma Bombeck

If it weren’t for the killings, Washington would have one of the lowest crime rates in the country. -Marion Barry, Mayor

admin — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 00:00:00 +0000

If it weren’t for the killings, Washington would have one of the lowest crime rates in the country. -Marion Barry, Mayor

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love. -Joe E. Lewis

admin — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 00:00:00 +0000

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love. -Joe E. Lewis

My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings. -Jay London

admin — Mon, 05 Mar 2012 00:00:00 +0000

My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings. -Jay London

I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink. -Joe E. Lewis

admin — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 00:00:00 +0000

I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink. -Joe E. Lewis

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you’re twenty minutes. -Oscar Wilde

admin — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 00:00:00 +0000

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you’re twenty minutes. -Oscar Wilde

I like children – fried. -W. C. Fields

admin — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 00:00:00 +0000

I like children – fried. -W. C. Fields