Funny Quotes

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height. -Casey Stengel

I am not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens. -Woody Allen

One picture is worth 1,000 denials. -Ronald Reagan

A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it is written on. -Samual Goldwyn

If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question? -Lily Tomlin

I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere. -George Burns

Always forgive your enemies – Nothing annoys them so much. -Oscar Wilde

If it’s the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number? -Robin Williams

Never have more children than you have car windows. -Erma Bombeck